Ok so I don’t usually do this but since I end up screaming at the TV with a giant glass of wine in my hand every year I figure its well past time to take those emotions to the blog. I know the runways, I know the trends, and you can bet all hell that I can also recognize fugly when I see it. Ok here goes, my first best and worst dressed for Oscars 2016:
Let’s start with the Best!
Cate Blanchett, obviously. She’s basically the queen of the red carpet and every year finds a way to reinterpret her very precise pastel haute couture looks and this is the best interpretation to date. the color is ethereal, the flowers made out of feathers are just divine, and the slightly exaggerated shoulders with the deep V is simply the most stunning silhouette on her. Plus how perfect is her skin and makeup always? #Beautygoals
Priyanka Chilpra. Gorgeous color, cut and fabric, makes her body look incredible. I’m not even sure she’s in a movie so I don’t know why she is even at the Oscars but I guess if I was sort of a gate-crasher I would do my best to look this damn hot too.
Speaking of damn hot, i mean… dayummm. Charlize still has it all, and that body is incredible. Red on the red carpet? it’s a do my friends. Again, loving the low neckline for my girls with the petite boobies, and love the double strap detail. The one thing that has to go is that Elvis Presley bang wave she has going on. I mean, it’s just a distraction from her perfect face!
Gaga. Ok I know this is like #manrepelling at its finest but the architecture on this look is just so her, it’s perfect. A pantsuit to the oscars? Yes. One with that awesome pleated overskirt train situation? Double Yes. I guarantee this look is going to pop up everywhere now!
Amy Poehler- sometimes she misses, and misses hard. But this dress is totally wonderful, whimsical and age-appropriate! I bet she loved having sleeves for once so we don’t always have to look at the over-boob. She is a funny lady- about time she wore something with as much character as her.
Naomi Watts never really goes wrong but apparently Liev picked it out for her so hand clap emoji for a guy, like, getting it. Better than so many others stylists out there… in case he’s ever in need of a second job!
Alicia Vikander is stunning and we would all kill to be able to wear pale yellow like her. She looked like literally the “Belle” of the ball with the exception of 2 things. 1. hate that hair. It’s messy and sort of greasy looking and very post-gym. And the hem of the skirt is just barf. Take it all the way to the floor and add drama will you? The shoes are not that fab!
Let’s move on to the ‘eh’s. Neither a do, nor a don’t, but maybe just a snooze will do.
Margot Robbie. How does someone so gorgeous look so ‘meh’? I’ll tell you why, it’s that DANG HAIR AGAIN. Seriously, hair was the biggest loser of last night’s Oscars. Pull it up and back to look like the Oscar statue I think you are trying to emulate…?
Oh man I love Ms. McAdams. She is a fantastic actress who perfectly plays the leads in intellectual and rom coms perfectly. Not so different from Meryl and Julia before her. And like them, she somehow always looks a bit off. Like… too intellectual? Just try to look clean, or sexy or something. This dress needs to be seriously ironed and when she moved to the side you could see it fit all wrong and sagging in the worst places. Hey- I love the cut- it’s the same as my wedding dress, and the color is perfection, but how hard is it to get a dress to fit a perfect-bodied movie star?
Lady Rose DeWitt Bukater, I mean Kate. Hair actually looks great and less up-tight for once, and the dress isn’t bad, but overall it’s safe. Would love to see her in a bright color or at least a bold earring for once. I’m sure the fabric was interesting in person but here it just sort of looks like a trash bag.
I’m going to get a lot of boo’s all around here but… snooze.
Seriously, America’s sweetheart is a snoozefest. Seen it before Jennifer!
While we were watching last night Mr. R was like ” uh… she doesn’t Olivia Munn look as good as she usually does” and we couldn’t figure it out. Was it the orange color or the messy hair? NOPE. It was LIP INJECTIONS. Yikes. She is such a unique beauty, why did she have to go all Kylie on us? Anyway other than that I actually love this dress on her, and the color was probably a showstopper in person. She has an amazing body so flaunt it sista!
On to the Worst Dressed!
I had Olivia Wilde in the ‘eh’ column but then couldn’t find anything nice to say, so I demoted her. Everything is just so unflattering. And I get that you are going for some sort of warrior princess look but no. just no.
Kerry Washington usually kills it but last night NO WAY JOSE. The way the straps connect to the top of the dress is just wrong, it would have been better to remove the straps completely. I don’t really mind the weaving detail around the waist and hips, but I guess I wish this entire dress was in different fabrics- make it more about the weaving and less about the black/white, leather/chiffon hard/soft thing.
Ms. JLaw. Ok so I guess she is America’s sweetheart and for good intention. But aside from that awesome haircut color that I’m 2 steps out the door to copy, this dress just doesn’t do it for her. Not me, for her. Bring back that hot red dress she wore before she was famous, before Dior adopted her and consistently makes her look older, larger and droopier. She is beautiful and sexy- it would be great if she worn something fitted for a change- show us what you got instead of hiding behind black lace doilies.
Ok on to my 3 worst dressed of the night.
#3: Daisy Ridley. How is this new-on-the-scene actress from the top grossing movie of all time wearing a dress that gives her a muffin top??? Who is her stylist? Call in Liev! The snooze color, the ankle length and the pulled back tight hair are just too Golden Girls for me. We saw you with your hair back the entire movie, take it down and show us your sexy side!
#2: Brie Larson. Another disaster hairstyle. And even worse, is this a Jessica McClintock circa 1995 dress? What is that hideous belt that is both TOO LARGE and TOO LOW on her waist? If you must have it, please bring it up an inch or 2! The sheer panels around the ill fitting neckline and the cascading micro pleat pieces that look like a fishs’ tail are just too much. Can you believe she’s just 26? She looks 36 here.
And can I get a drum roll for the obvious #1 worst dressed of the night? It’s Heidi Klum. But no offense to her because she thought it was a costume party, so she dressed up as My Little Pony. I can imagine combing her multi-colored tail with my little plastic brush. Everyone thought this had to be a Project Runway challenge winner… but since I’ve never missed an episode and never seen this monstrosity, sadly I can’t come to her defense and say it was. It was hilarious listening to Giuliana Rancic try to wax poetic about it last night on live TV though… “It’s just… so…, well her hair and makeup look amazing. She’s such a beautiful woman. What a color on that dress!”
Anyway, ’tis all for today. I just wish I started this earlier because you can bet I had a lot to say about those Grammy’s! What do you think? what were your faves/least faves of the night?