I realize no one can ever be ready for a baby. But for the last 2 weeks I have had 4 doctors appointments a week, and every week I have been told that we might need to induce to get her out earlier than expected. Read more about that issue in my 35 week Bumpdate. But then week after week, this little lady was growing just enough to keep her on the cusp of IUGR, meaning we should keep her in one more week to see how she fares.
At 32 weeks, I’ll admit I was frightened, for one, because of the obvious health and consequences of having a preterm baby. But also, because I was not physically or emotionally ready. I felt like my ‘bump’ had just emerged, I hadn’t purchased anything for the nursery, I had no idea what she was going to sleep in, and certainly hadn’t bought a stroller or opened the car seat box. All of a sudden it was go time, and Mr. R and I spent our first weekend scrambling to get as much organized as possible.
Then my life was in a holding pattern. I cancelled job opportunities and refused new interior design clients because I thought I could have this baby any minute. I started drinking raspberry leaf tea and eating dates to ‘soften my cervix’ and started going on walks to get her to move down. However week by week, she progressed just enough to get us to the next week, which slowly became agonizing. So even though I’m happy she has been able to stay in and grow internally for the past 6 weeks… I now feel frustration at the anticipation of it all. Can we just get this show on the road?
So with all that said, here are the reasons why I am ready for this baby to emerge and to get the rest of my life started already!
#1 Fashion: Knits have officially overstayed their welcome
I am O-V-E-R wearing stretchy things. Or the same pair of jeans or skirts repeatedly. As someone who considers fashion a huge part of their identity… I’m about on the edge of an identity crisis. Yes, I think I have managed to wear pregnancy pretty well, and still put together quite a few chic outfits. But with spring fashion launching in stores and all over my instagram feed, I am feening to wear something new. Something with structure. Something with a waist. I can’t tell you how many items I have in my shopping cart in almost every online retailer… just to bring myself back down to earth and remember that I still won’t be in my regular size for a while, I still need to prioritize nursing-friendly clothing, and my shopping budget is not what it used to be. But oh, what a glorious day it will be to put on something with a more defined silhouette!
#2 Physically: The Kicks are not slowing down
Typically by this stage of pregnancy, they say that the kicks start to slow down as baby is more cramped with space. Well, since this babe is tiny, apparently she defies the norm. In fact, yesterday she kicked and rolled and squirmed for a solid 3 hours. And even though she is small, she’s a lot bigger than she was 2 months ago, which means these movements are a lot more painful and uncomfortable than before. I actually couldn’t eat dinner last night because her clawing movements gave me a queasy feeling that made me lose my appetite. Probably not good since I am her nutrient source, but when you’re abdomen feels like a blender almost nothing sounds appetizing!
#3 Emotionally: The Next chapter is coming…. let’s turn the page
When you are so close every week to having a baby… the anticipation is the most grueling part of the process. I feel like I am just waiting for the rest of my life to start. I know I should be enjoying every last day that it’s just me and my husband, but we are both so worked up about when this baby will come and how she’s going to change our lives that we just want to experience it already. That’s why I’ve been trying to keep busy with DIY projects and getting ahead of blog posts for the next MONTH. This is by far the most organized my blog has ever been, and it’s because I think we have been ready for this new chapter for 6 weeks. So even though I’m sure I will write a post in a month saying “can’t I just go back to my old life?” right now my thought process is full steam ahead.
Photos by Lindsey Masterson Photography