Over the 9 years Mr. R and I have been together, we have been pretty killer at making sure we have a Date Night at least once a week. When we lived in separate apartments in San Francisco, Tuesdays were our nights to venture around the city and try new restaurants. When we moved to New York we didn’t roam quite as broadly when it was just the 2 of us, namely because our workdays grew longer and longer and picking something close to home was always preferable. But still, we aimed for one night out a week, and most likely, it was italian (our self-indulgent favorite).
Since moving back to the San Francisco Bay Area, and this time taking up residence in the suburbs, our date nights have been a little spotty at best. Since I don’t formally ‘go to work’ anymore, I have much less motivation to put on a dress and high heels at 7pm to go out to dinner, much less drive into the city for a more formal date. Things have certainly changed… but I’m not all that upset about it.
While Mr. R and I still go out to dinner once a week, they are much more casual affairs. Since his work day has only grown longer because of the added commute, going out to dinner at 8pm no longer seems like a genius idea (ok I know, if we were in NYC still this would be early!). These days ordering italian food in while chowing down on the couch watching an episode of The Crown is more our idea of a ‘night off’, whether from cooking or reheating previous meals.
But it’s important to point out that by no means does this depress me! Date nights are awesome and important to every relationship, but given the way our lives and schedules have changed, it’s not as important as it once was. With the constant travel that he and I both have, staying in has become the ultimate luxury now, not going out. We now treat ourselves to a nice dinner out maybe once every 2-3 weeks, because we’re lucky if we are even in the same place for one week at a time. Instead, we have found a new way to treat ourselves, the Date Morning.
Call it the antithesis of the Walk of Shame, the Date Morning is when instead of yogurt and making a quick nespresso, we go out to breakfast. The idea isn’t exactly novel, but it’s a huge shift in mindset for us, and something we look forward to. I should clarify, this is not brunch. This is 8am, wake up and go, breakfast. We have found a whole slew of suburban palaces to enjoy a morning cup of joe, orange juice, huevos rancheros and fruit topped belgian waffle that we enjoy with the construction workers and the cops.
There are so many good things about the Date Morning. For one, it’s much more peaceful. We are usually one of the first to arrive at most of these places, which means picking any seat we want, never waiting for service, and getting that cup of coffee in no time. I also can’t complain about the price! With no mimosas or bloody mary’s in sight, this is a far less expensive meal than one where we guzzle an entire bottle of wine… even if we order extra cider doughnuts to share. And selfishly, it’s much easier for me to get an outfit photo in… the morning light is the clearest to shoot in, we both feel freshly rested, and there are far less cars and people to dodge.
What will happen when we have this kid? Sadly, I know both the Date Night and the Date Morning will suffer, but I hope that every once in a while we will be able to slip out of the house with a babysitter or relative to care for the baby while we enjoy our pancakes in peace!
Date Night Look 1: Parker Dress from Rent the Runway // Coach Icon Leather Jacket // No.21 Knot Heels (sale) // Mawi Necklace (old)
Date Night Look 2: Endless Rose coat from Rent the Runway // Maternity Jbrand jeans from Rent the Runway // Zara Sheer Floral top (similar sale options here) // Zara silver heels (old) // J.Crew necklace (old)
Date Morning Look: Zara Floral dress (sale) // Zara Denim Jacket (sale) // Kimorn Sunglasses // Veja Sneakers